Okay – so I think the cat is out to get me. I don't know what I did to piss him off, but it must have been something really good like not treating him like he owns the house. Or perhaps I didn't lavish enough praise on His Highness recently. Or MAYBE I slacked off and didn't jump right up and let him out when he asked (cough – demanded – cough, cough).
So this morning…it's a Monday…and I'm running just a few minutes behind. Not enough to get panicky yet, but enough to make it a not-quite pleasant drive to work as I jockey for position in the moron-o-thon of commute time traffic cursing Jacka$$ 1 and Jacka$$ 2 that decide they BOTH want to go the exact same just under tortoise-speed. Ya know? So I go and get in the car…I have my cup of coffee which is good, there is a good song on the radio which is also good…things are looking up! I pull out and hit the garage door button to close the garage and just as the door is about 2/3 down, what do you think the cat did? He casually saunters into the beam and sends the garage door right back up…and then SITS THERE. I honk the car horn…he SITS THERE. I stick my head out and yell "Move CAT!"…he SITS THERE looking at me like "What?". I open the door and say "don't make me get out"…he SITS THERE like he has found the absolute best place in the whole entire world to sit! I get out and walk up to the cat screaming and yelling at him the entire time…and he SITS THERE. I think he was rather amused actually. I finally get him to move by physically picking him up and gently placing (cough – throwing – cough, cough) him into the garage and out of the way of the beam.
I go get back in the car, re-buckle the seat belt, hit the garage door button and watch it get about 2/3 down when he WALKS THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!!!! Yep – no kidding. Thankfully (for HIS sake, not mine!) he finally decided that making me have a stroke had lost its appeal and I was able to get the garage door closed and headed off to work. It was a small miracle, but I was able to get to work without having to tell anyone that they were 1 or giving the one-fingered peace sign – no thanks to His Highness, King Simba!